the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize