Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize