Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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