And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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