my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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