i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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