I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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