PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Couch. On fire.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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