dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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