Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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