Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize