You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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