Define "chronic" masturbator.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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