Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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