i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize