he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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