im about as happy as oj after his trial
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize