I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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