I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize