so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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