Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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