i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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