My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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