I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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