have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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