My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize