Someone shit on the floor
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize