Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize