first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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