Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize