Michael Bay diarrhea
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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