were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize