you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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