THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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