did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize