u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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