tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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