Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize