you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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