someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize