she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize