He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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