he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize