it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize