OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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