Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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