Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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