you would pick up someone in the library
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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