is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone owes me an orgasm
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You were trust falling into bushes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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