Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize