I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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