I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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